Make the decision

Making the decision to move abroad, or to do anything, implies that the decision maker actually has the option to make that choice. And lots of people say “I would love to …. If only ….” And quite often the reasons not to do something are undeniably valid. But equally often, the reasons not to “do it” can be the same as the reasons to “do it”.

That said, it is – of course – a private and personal thing. Coming to the point of deciding is not always the enormous “lightning flash” moment we imagine, either. A big decision can come about as the result of many small things. For me, it was the culmination of a number of thoughts that had been gently percolating in my brain for decades. Yes, it was a love of the French language and a desire to live beside warm waters, for sure, but it was also more mundane considerations.

I have a slightly wonky skeleton. After witnessing my motorcycling idol, Barry Sheene, desert our cold, grey shores for the sunshine coasts of Australia to save his battered body from aching as he grew older, I decided to copy his brilliant idea … one day.

My partner in my twenties developed a fondness for France as we holidayed there each summer, and I took no persuading to investigate the options open to us in the eighties. Unfortunately, our exploring brought to light the cracks in our relationship so, despite taking a number of steps in a southerly direction, we never made the final move … and we subsequently went our separate ways.

Being busy with Life can take up many years. It is generally better to get on with living then spend our lives waiting. But if you have a dream that doesn’t go away, that pops up to nag you in the wee small hours of sleepless nights … eventually you might have to shine a bright light and take a good look at what it is trying to draw for you.

Changing direction; taking a leap of faith; adopting new habits … none of these have to indicate that life up until that moment was “bad”. Or “good”. It could simply be you decide to change because, after doing the same thing for the ninety-nine-millionth time, you just fancy doing something different. I remember hearing a celebrity interview of a popular young lady who was secretly a drug addict. She confided that her “enough’s enough” moment came whilst doing the hoovering! So, timing could be everything, or it could be totally irrelevant ~

Take the first step

Timing. Some people revel in flashes of inspiration, but I believe the vast majority of us prefer to weigh the pros and cons, make plans and – ideally – set a timetable of events, too. One of my dearest girlfriends tells me she likes to “plan her spontaneity” … and she does it very well.

My view, for myself, was that I could not wait forever before making the move to France. I was not getting any younger; it was only going to get harder the older I became. My Mum and two brothers were not getting any younger, either, but they were all seasoned travellers and I knew the route to the South of France from our home town of Brighton, by car, plane or train, was an easy one. They, and my most treasured friends, could come and visit as long as I had a home big enough to welcome them.

I did not have a partner to hold my hand, to share the ups and downs, or to help with any of the zillions of practical considerations. But the flip side of that was I could be totally selfish in my choices, and I would only have to deal with my own reactions as events unfolded. I could decorate the ceiling black and the walls pink if I wanted (I didn’t) and if anyone was disappointed I would only have myself to contend with. The fears and triumphs would be mine, and mine alone. Please don’t misunderstand me; I love the idea of sharing all the details of life’s journey, the big and the small, but if the right person is not on the same path at the same time, I’ll keep walking …

Finances are a major consideration, of course, and I was lucky enough to be able to juggle everything I owned so I could buy my foothold in France outright, even if that left me with no safety net funds for rainy days. But in some ways I think financial planning is a bit like having children; if everyone waited until they could afford to raise kids the human race would be extinct by now!

Lists are good. Preparation is not to be sneezed at. Dreams can be substantial, but they only exist in the ether of our thoughts until we make them real. It is very nice, and hugely desirable, to have as many solid plans and resources in place as possible, but the chances are that The Unexpected will happen – for better or for worse – so maybe, if you are not completely ready, that is ok too. You might want snorkel, goggles, arm bands and buoyancy aids before embarking … but if you dive in with faith and enthusiasm you could be amazed at the people and opportunities that drift by. Sink or Swim? Are you waving or drowning? Help is never so very far away … and you know you are most definitely living!